Why Can't I Be a Super Hero?

I am having one of "those" days. The type where I constantly worry about my children and find 12390948320.8 ways to blame myself for everything that has already or might possibly go wrong. I spent a good portion of today making myself feel inadequate as a parent.

Most of these feelings, as usual, have stemmed from something concerning Jacob's developmental delays. Sure, I put on a good face and talk the talk with all his doctors, therapist, and anyone else who might ask- but the truth is I am not okay. I tear myself to pieces on a daily basis pouring over what I might have done wrong and obsess over what I might be doing wrong in this very moment.

Looking at it objectively, I know that Jacob has come a very long way and has made some huge progress. I am more proud of him than words can say. He is my little boy and I love him with all of my heart and more. I am doing every thing I can think of to help him catch up. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop the feeling that I should be doing more. That doesn't stop the guilt I feel daily. I have had many people tell me that these things just happen and I didn't do anything wrong, but on days like this it is hard for me to believe them. Did I eat or drink something I shouldn't have while pregnant? Did I talk to him enough as a baby? Why didn't I notice anything sooner? I try so hard to be the best mommy in the world, but I feel like I am coming up short.

My heart hurts when someone points out how far behind he is. My heart hurts when I see kids much younger than him doing and saying way more than he has. My heart hurts because I don't know why he has to have a more difficult time. My heart hurts because I can't fix it for him.

I know that there are other parents out there that feel this way too. In fact, I'm sure that every parent has had  similar thoughts at one time or another. I also know that many children have it far worse than Jacob, and I do count my blessings for that. Normally, I can battle these feelings and work on being more optimistic. I strive to be a positive person every day, but I can't deny that these thoughts occur in my head. I know that I have to be the one to change these thoughts. No one else can do it for me. I'm still working on that. Hopefully one day I will have the answer for myself, but that day is not today.

My heart goes out to parents everywhere that are doing the best they can. I hope you know you are doing an awesome job. If you aren't so sure, please take the time to remind yourself that it is true. As much as we want to be super heroes for our children, we can only be what we are. Lucky for us, what we are is an amazing gift and we have a lot of power to make a better world for our children. Now I just need to remember to tell myself that once in a while.

Over-Sharing on Facebook

I see a lot of negativity in the social media world aimed at people who share pictures and stories about their children on a regular basis. Although it has not ever been directed at me personally to my knowledge, it sometimes makes me feel self-conscious about the updates I share. Then I take a step back and remind myself that I have no reason to feel that way.

I have an eclectic group of friends on Facebook that have many different interests, some of which I couldn't care less about (Such as sports or who they are currently fighting via text message). I do, however, care about my friends and want to hear about their lives. That's why I have subscribed to their updates. I think it is only right to assume that people feel the same about me if they have chosen to be "friends" with me.

This article, which I read this evening, made a very good point. Everyone tends to over-share, whether it is about their children or not. I have a couple different thoughts about this. For one, I think that people are less inhibited by the face to face social barriers that stop us from saying too much in person. You can't see anyone's reaction, so there is less embarrassment if the reaction is negative. But mostly, I think people are craving reassurance, connection, and validation from each other.

However, I do not think that sharing pictures of your children on a daily basis, or letting me know how you feel about the football game you are watching is too much information. There is a limit, of course- I'm not interested in seeing graphic pictures of what your son ate after it came out the other end, nor do I want an every-20-second play by play of the game I have no interest in. Am I going to "un-friend" you because of it? No, but I'll probably hide that particular post. Honestly, the only thing that really gets to me on Facebook is negativity. Too many "The World Hates Me" posts will probably get you axed from my newsfeed.

I have three major reasons why I share regular updates about my children on Facebook. My number one reason is that I am proud of my children! I love them, and I want to share their accomplishments with my friends. Also important to me is the fact that I have many friends and family members who live far away and are not able to see us as much as they want to. These people enjoy my updates and it is a great way to share despite the distance. My third reason is simply the fact that I am home with my children all day, and if I didn't talk about them, I'd have nothing to talk about!

I'm not going to apologize for my updates and pictures of my children, nor will I discontinue posting them if someone decides to get their panties in a wad over it. I genuinely like seeing what my friends are up to via Facebook, and I assume they enjoy seeing what we're doing. If that's not the case, then I imagine it's a lot easier to click the "Hide Updates" button than it is to complain about it.