Now, I am not overly familiar with the work and/or teachings of Dr. Sears, but from what I understand about attachment parenting, I would most likely consider myself this type of parent, although perhaps not as vehemently as some others. I breastfeed, co-sleep, and occasionally wear my baby. I love being close to her. Does that mean that any mother who does not do these things is any less of a mother? Absolutely not. However, that is heavily implied by this "Are You Mom Enough" cover. Additionally, it effectively insults AP parents as well for calling them "extremists" and referring to Dr. Sears as their "guru."
It is obvious to me that the article was intended to spur arguments between people with different parenting styles. I cannot express how sad that makes me, especially so close to Mother's Day. I have read many responses to this cover, both for and against AP parenting, and quite frankly, I am appalled and disheartened by how defensive and ignorant people can be on both sides.
What people fail to realize is that parenting does not have a one-size-fits-all answer. Children are inherently different, and they respond differently to the same techniques. I have learned this first hand with my own two children. Some choices I made with Jacob worked wonderfully for him, and yet fail miserably with Madison. Yes, development is fostered by environment, but that is not to say that babies are not already their own person when they are born.
Furthermore, there are so many contributing and ruling factors parents use when determining what they will and will not do with their own children. Society, religion, and personal experience all play a heavy role. The bottom line is, what works for one family does not always work for every family.
When I first saw this cover, my initial reaction was "Good for Her!" I am proud of this woman for standing up for what she believes in. I am not offended in the slightest by watching her breastfeed her son. I'm not sure that I would choose to breastfeed that long, but I don't know. My goal is a year with Madison, but if she is not ready to stop by then, I am not going to make her.
I'm shocked at some responses I saw to the article, which were both supporting and attacking this woman. Some of those were along these lines:
"That is disgusting, that child is going to be so screwed up"
"Children should stop breastfeeding once they have teeth"
"That is sexual abuse and child molestation"
"He should be getting cows milk"
and on the other side:
"If you don't AP, you are a terrible person"
"AP parents love their kids more"
"You are killing your child by giving him formula"
Okay. Back it up, people! First off, how is feeding your child going to "screw them up" or by any definition of the word, molestation?! I'd like to take time to remind everyone that this is 100% natural, and that is what boobs are for. They are not meant to be a sexual organ. Secondly, while we know that giving cow's milk at this child's age is not harmful and in fact beneficial, that certainly does not mean that the child should get it over breastmilk. Think about it, that is like saying a baby deer should be nursing from a horse, not a doe.
Additionally, mothers who choose not to breastfeed, or don't practice any form of attachment parenting are not terrible people. They simply need to do what works from them, and like I said before there are so many factors involved in that decision.
This should not be an argument. Unless someone is putting their child in harm's way, we should be supportive of others' choices, and we should use opportunities like this to learn from each other and open our minds a little bit more. Especially so close to Mother's Day!
Live, learn, and let live!
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